Ladies and gentlemen, welcome! Please take your seats.
We are proud to present the latest performance from the Beyond Troupe, Fingernail Theater IV. What you are about to witness is the latest in a 58-part series, entitled the Fingernail Chronicles, which follows the journey of one young man through love, loss, war, death and, ultimately, decapitation.
We ask that in consideration of others, you remain quiet during the performance. Snacks and refreshments may be purchased in the lobby.
Now please sit back and enjoy the show.