Introducing The Hellevator - MUSIC SO LIGHT AND AIRY YOU'LL NEED AN AIRSICKNESS BAG
How much would you expect to pay for the torturous rhapsodies produced by the Hellevator? Musak and other digital music companies sell their mind-numbing "music" for hundreds of dollars a month, now with the hellevator you can have the same soul destroying sounds available in your pocket at all times for only .99!
That’s right for only .99 you not only get the Hellevator, but we'll throw in four gag inducing musical harmonies ranging from mildly annoying to completely soul crushing.
Don't let new fangled soundless elevators get you down any longer. Simply open the hellevator, press one of four floor buttons and Hellevator will provide the background torture you’ve been missing.
Perfect for elevator rides, in your cubicle, and even Works great for numbing the brains of your friends and colleagues as Hold Music for your iPhone. Simply put someone on speaker - open Hellevator and let beautiful music that has been stripped of its soul play through. Your friends will thank you for it.
-- Scathing Testimonials --
"Every time I listen to hellevator, I puke a little in my mouth."
- Jan from Duluth, MN
"The music in Hellevator literally makes me want to poke something very sharp into my ear until it bleeds."
- Chuck from Billings, MT
"Screw you hellevator. Seriously. Screw you."
- Liam from Denver, CO