The Pirate Utility combines three essential tools for any pirate: an insult generator, an English-to-pirate translator, and a photo booth! Each tool allows you to easily share the results with your mates via Twitter, Facebook, SMS (text), Instagram (for the Photo Booth), or Mail!
Pirate Photo Booth:
The Pirate Photo Booth allows you to take photos of yourself or your mates in full pirate garb (assuming your device has a camera or two, of course). Customize your photo by selecting from amongst a variety of hats, moustaches, beards, and accessories. When you have the piratey look that makes the proper statement, take a photo and then share it with your mates on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Messages, or the always-safe-for-work Mail. Be the pirate your parents always dreamed you could be!
Follow us on Twitter (@monkeyness) or like us on Facebook (PirateMonkeyness) to win secret codes for hats, beards, and eye patches in the Photo Booth!
The Insult Generator assembles the full monty of piratey-sounding insults by randomly selecting threats, insults, adjectives, nouns, and exclamations to compose the perfect insult. Adjustable settings allow you to select an appropriate amount of colorful adjectives to further spice things up. The end result is usually a long-winded insult you might yell at a pirate in the heat of battle or during a duel. If you're still a pirate-in-training, you can always sharpen your skills by trying them out on friends, coworkers, and random strangers.
Here are just a few pirate insults you can get from the generator:
"We'll rip an' burn yer Jolly Roger, ye salty, pox-faced kraken ... Strike yer colors!"
"Ye don' need a sword. Yer face be deadlier, ye sorry, scurvy-infested, bilge-drinkin' swab ... Walk the gangplank!"
"Me parrot be smarter than ye, ye barnacle-covered, sorry, foul-smellin' sea snake ... Blast ye!"
There are nigh on a quarter billion unique combinations of insults. Granted, some of those look pretty close to some of the others, but that still leaves plenty of room for variation. Armed with an almost-endless array of insults, your victims will (hopefully) be less likely to run you through with a sword!
Are you just learning (learnin') to speak pirate? Do you just need a refresher course? Did you just get to work and realize that it's September 19 (which happens to be International Talk Like a Pirate Day)? The Pirate Translator will come to the rescue (assuming you know at least a little English, of course). The Pirate Translator attempts to translate English phrases into something you could say in a grog-induced pirate brawl or any occasion, really. A dictionary of nearly 1200 words and phrases are used, not counting variations on verb tense and plurality, making this translator one of the most comprehensive pirate translators in the world!
For example, here are some translations:
"Hello there! How are you doing? My girlfriend is meeting me later for dinner and some drinks."
"Ahoy thar! How are ye doin'? Me strumpet be meetin' me later fer grub 'n rum."
"I don't know what you're thinking. You cheated! You owe me 5 dollars!"
"I dunno wha' ye're thinkin'. Ye hornswaggler! Ye owe me 5 doubloons!"
By using this app, you hold Pirate Monkeyness harmless for any damage to your iPhone, yourself, or your personal property from misuse of photos, insults, or translations generated by the Pirate Utility. Do not use while driving or during heated pirate sword fights.