If you need a laugh at the lighter side of corporate life then this app is for you! It’s the perfect way to cope with the stresses of office life!
Find out how to touch base, reach out, circle back, increase bandwidth, strategize and leverage. Discover the story of the lowly worker ant. Find out the real meaning of ‘office speak’ and how to use it to your advantage! Discover the wonder of buzzword bingo. Uncover work rules you never knew, learn how to get physically fit for work and if all else fails, repeat the office prayer. And when all else fails, there are always the tried and tested office pranks.
Working in an office can be tough. Here are a sample of some terms which we have diligently researched over numerous sleepless night!
Reach out: Many managers are fans of yoga, pilates and tai-chi, finding them calm influencing factors in their otherwise busy and demanding lives. They sometimes wish to bring these exercises into the office. If invited to ‘reach out’ to anyone, you are expected to arrange a 10 minute group session of your choice of core strengthening exercises.
You really need to push back on that: Occasionally you will see people walking backwards in the office, pushing various items including white boards, spare chairs and tables. Health and safety officers have recently discovered that by pushing something backwards rather than forwards will reduce the risk of injury by 87%. This is now becoming standard procedure in all offices globally.
Push the envelope: If you have ever worked in an office, you either have too many envelopes, or not enough. To push the envelope is to strategically place a small number of envelopes in various hidden places around the office. That way, no matter how inefficient your stationary ordering process is, you will always be able to find a few envelopes.
Circle back: Again, another missive from the health and safety officers. Circling backwards using 32% less energy and is proven to get you to your nearest office / coffee station / photocopier in the fast time possible.
Touch base: This is a tricky one which you must be careful with. You must ask the person which base they are referring to. Never attempt to physically touch the colleague who said this to you, as you may end up in the manager’s office.
Let’s tee that up at the next meeting: This is great news! Your manager has just invited you to a round of golf. Check what day the next meeting is scheduled and be at the local golf course at 8am that morning in your best golf attire. It is advisable to allow the boss to win, which will greatly help your standing in the office and future job prospects.
This app includes:
The true story of a worker ant
45 things you want to say at the office but can’t
Mars and Venus
40 office terms explained
Buzz words bingo video
The night before startup
Physical fitness at work notice
A prayer for the stressed